naturally high and letting go

oh my goodness, i had an amazing night last night.
for years i've wanted to go trapeze jumping, and last night i did, together with 3 girl friends. every couple of months we have Girl's Night Out and we try to do something fun and out of the ordinary. one of the girls had turned 40 recently and i am turning 40 in november. 40 ... it's a big milestone. i am not scared of it at all, i just can't believe i'm going to be 40. i still feel like that 16 year old girl growing up in Norway.

i guess i'm a bit scared of getting stuck. yoga does keep me honest in many ways and although i do get stuck and in a rut at times i know that i have a choice to either stay there or do something about it. i always chose to do something about it. it's in my nature to have to feel like i'm moving forward, otherwise i feel dead and un-inspired. and that's no life to live!

so on the theme of turning 40, and letting go of fears, i made the suggestion to the girls to go trapeze jumping. the girls are so game. off we went and what a blast it was. oh my goodness, it was scary, but it was sooo liberating. what a natural high. wow. even today i feel that jolt of energy pulsating in my veins. last time i felt this naturally high is 2 years ago when i gave birth to my son. i was naturally high for 2 weeks after that. 16 hour labor with no drugs, all yoga breathing (riding the waves with the contractions), that was the way to do it, for me. it was AMAZING!

as i'm writing this it's becoming clear to me. i realize i am in need of taking myself out of the normal realm of things. i am not into drugs, and never have been. i like things to give me natural energy. i guess i tend to get bored easily and tend to feel i'm not in the center of where i should be, so that's where i tend to feel a bit stuck.

i'm not complaining, i love my life and am naturally high on life. i love what i do. i love my family and living in new york city. i am a happy person. but still, every now and then it's like i need an extra jolt - to take me out of a comfort zone.

so my epiphany @ 39 years and 11 months is: if i'm not going to trapeze jump and give birth every week (LOL) in order to feel naturally high on a regular basis, in order to let go of fear i must constantly let go of stuff that robs me for energy. i have to forget about being politically correct, and i have to stop self-editing. now, HOW exciting does that sound? just think about it, how much energy would you have left if you stopped the self-editing? i think a lot.

i know, i am insane. i'm a scorpio after all :-) always seeking thrills and meaning. as if living in new york wasn't enough :-) (see, that gets old after 16 years too). all joking aside, the key is to wake up every day with new eyes, and do as helen keller suggested: go out there and do something that scares you every day. it doesn't have to be trapeze jumping or giving birth. it could be as simple as smiling to a stranger (some people are scared of that) or tell someone you appreciate that you appreciate him/her. anything, anything that scares you.
just as i know what it is for me, you know what it is for you. just don't get arrested and make sure it keeps that prana (life force) flowing.

live, breathe and believe.

here is a clip of me doing my last trapeze jump for the evening. you'll see - i almost got it :-)

hopefully the clip inspires you to try !

www.trapezeschool.com